doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
