What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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