I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
