I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
