I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
