she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
