you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
