And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
did i walk over a car last night?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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