I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
