We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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