I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
