im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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