Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
