We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
