I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
this will be a night to untag.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
