Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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