i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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