i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
