if you like me you must not know who I am
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
