Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
