thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
