dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
