yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
