The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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