Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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