My brain says no but my pants say off.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
