Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
