If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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