I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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