Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
