Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
