it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I am naked and annoyed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
