So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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