He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
