she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Never underestimate the power of titties
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
