Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
