Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
