whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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