If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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