i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
