hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
