No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
