just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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