The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
