Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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