I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
