how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
