very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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