we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
