I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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