cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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