I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
