Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
