i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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