no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
