I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
operation have a gay friend backfired
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
